#22 Storms and cleansings

I came to Koh Phang Ngan looking for a quiet place to chill for a while and detox my body. Something brought me to Haad Tien, where the Sanctuary is located andhere I found a more in-touch community away from the party scene and the constant blare of videos and all night bars. Instead I found flower children studying Sharmanic Healing and Ayurvedic Yoga Massage courses.
Perfect.

And then the rain came. actually it started with a wizz bang storm that was totally, totally cool and exhilerting and brought me back to nature with a bang, and a crash and a kaboom. The rain settled in and bungalow confined I returned to an old learn to draw project and read, a lot. A couple of days later the big one came. At first it was fun but as my bungalow shook uncontrollably, excitement turned to concern. How much would it take to blow a bungalow over. I was reading a book set in Kansas and started feeling like Dorothy, about to be swept home early to Oz. The next morning, the bungalow thankfully still in tact, I awoke to see
the Thais, gobsmacked, watching the 2m waves crashing onto the beach and coming up to the restaurant. This was the edge of a typhoon in the Phillipines and the worst storm the island had seen in many years. Many boats went missing including a speed boat full of crazy farang who had convinced a reluctant driver to take them to Phang Ngan from Samui for US$500. They were never seen again. The navy was called in to rescue tourists from Koh Tao and all hopes of diving on this coast disappeared.

Instead I turned my attention to my belly, which after a week of healthy food and no toxins was still grumbling a lot and providing a near constant ache. What had I done to myself in Mongolia? The question was answered in the expressions of staff when I told them I had broken 12 years vegetarianism to eat mutton. I decided to undertake a 3 1/2 day colonic fast, not too full on like the 7 day option and kinder on my bank balance, but still hopefully ridding the renegade meat. The basic ethos behind fasting is that your body spends 70% of its energy in digestion. If you stop eating then the body turns its attention to
cleaning the rest of the body and removing toxins.

I had to eat raw food for a couple of days before and then take some herbs the night before. The first morning I awoke to the joy of the psylium-clay shake. The bentonite clay absorbs 40 times its own weight in toxins and the psytlium husks gently brush and clean the inside of the intestines, pushing everything through. Unfortunately I didn't realise quite how fast
it thickens, got a third the way through my skull, tastebuds okaying it but throat activating gag
reflexes and my brain and throat launched into a heated exchange:
throat: what the f*@k
brain: you've got to drink it. it's good for you.
throat: you're kidding. no way.
brain: swallow it NOW.
throat: urgghhh.
I still had most of it to drink and it got worse. But I managed to get it all down. Feeling sick now. Must lie down!
1.5 hours later more herbs.
1.5 later again, another shake. Pleeeaaase noooo!
This one had watermelon in it and I slammed it down in record speed. Not too bad.
Maybe I can cope with 4 of these a day. Yuck.

Life got trippier. 4pm is colonic time. The bit I'm really nervous about. Basically you have to lie on your back on a long flat board with a toilet at one end and a bucket overhead with 8 gallons of liquid attached to a plastic tube. No points for guessing where the plastic tube has to go. Mmmmm. The things we do for kicks. Gravity feeds the mixture into your colon and intestines, bend the pipe and stop the flow, massage belly vigrously, release, and hopefully all the crap
comes out. Repeat until the bucket is empty. Goodbye rank festy mutton!

Day two I had so much energy. Coincidentally it also stopped raining and the sun came to visit. I got up early for a quick dip in the sea, went to yoga (the yoga hall up in the treetops looks out over the jungle and sea and is stunning) and amazed myself with my strength and stamina. I swam and walked and lay in the sun photo synthesizing and catching up on well needed vitamin D. Preceded by a brilliant nights sleep was looking forward to another one but alas it was not to be. The once a week disco kicked in and went until 8am. Needless to say I was a mess on day 3.

Day4 the colonic mixure had wheatgrass in it and was exhausting. After so much clean living it still made me nauseus. I broke my fast with papaya. I have to spend five days moving back to normal food. Fruit to raw vegatables to cooked vegetables to carbs and starches and then finally protein. An excellent way to monitor my body's reaction to different foods. My first coffee laid me flat for half a day.

After hanging around for another week I'm now off to Penang on a visa run. Looking forward to exploring little India and trying my body out on curry. Mmmmm.
Boat leaving soon, gotta go!

#23 Ghost ships and faery dust

What an amazing couple of weeks. I've just arrived in Kata Beach, Phuket, HQ for the Kings Cup Regatta, the big boat race in Asia. Today is registration day which means shmoozing all the skippers looking for a ride, maybe a big yacht will take me on as rail meat and i can spend my days leaning over the side, scrambling from side to side as we try and take vital inches of
space from the wind. I'm hoping for a smaller boat , 5 to 8 crew where I'll get given a task and will learn something.

i started off on a visa run to Langkawi in Malaysia and dropped in on some of the people i met at the beginning of the year when I was cruising around. Pete and Ben suggested I head down to the Royal Selangor Yacht Club west of KL where the Rajamuda Regatta was due to start. There was a good chance I'd pick up a crew spot on a boat and could come back up with the fleet. Something of a gamble though. I thought about it overnight and got up and jumped on a ferry back to the mainland where i could take a local bus to the big bus station and get harrassed by weird men all to arrive in KL late at night in the pouring rain wandering around in circles looking for a room. One of those days that makes me want to be trapped in a meaningless 9-5 job where everything is safe. but this is my big adventure and I hopped on a train out to Port Klang the next day with all my stuff not sure what i'd do when i got to the yacht club. Predictably i wandered around feeling sheepish for a while after almost running away when I looked at the imposing notice informing that those not introduced by a member would be refused admittance. But no one came to the recepetion desk so I stuffed my pack next to it and went in search of the office. I found an ex naval guy with a pipe who offered me a couple of days slave labour stuffing race paraphenalia in the registration office in exchange for the opportunity to meet all the skippers and plead my case. So there I was bored and baking when Khairul informed me that Jimmy was coming in the next day and would take me on as crew. Do I get a say in this i wondered?

Jimmy was a suave english educated Malay with crazy long eyebrows cultivated gandalf style. A
naturalist/ environmental advisor he was pretty cool and his boat was even cooler. A 31" trimaran that flew like the wind when the wind blew. It folds up and lives on a trailer thus can be carted to the other side of the peninsular which is rather handy! The regatta was organised in a series of long passages, the first and longest distance wise up to Pulau Pangkor, a beautiful tropical island. We left at midday and got in about 4:30 in the morning after a beautiful overnight sail. I sat forward on the trampoline watching the electrical storms circle around us lighting up fantasy figures in the clouds as the phosphorescence sprayed over me from benath like fairy dust. A fishing boat crossed our bows with no lights displayed which was very freaky. It just loomed up out of nowhere and all we saw was a huge shadow.
Earlier in the day another had headed straight for us in broad daylight like it was trying to ram us. There are international laws about displaying navigation
lights and who has right of way at sea but the fishing boats here don't care. And after all we've got an expensive yacht and they have a big heavy wooden boat with a powerful engine installed!

After something of a lull early in the morning everyone else crashed out and I spent my watch feeling the wind picking up and learning how to sail by feel in the dark without the assistance of a torch to show off the tell tales. A sqall blew in from across the horizon and we flew into Pangkor doing 15 knots, me hanging onto the tiller for for dear life with a crazy laughing smile upon my lips. We went so fast we mistook a freighter for the commitee boat and ended up
screeching past the finish line instead of across it and spent another 15 minutes trying to find it!

At Pangkor a repeat of the wallaby-all blacks game was played as we were all at sea when it was on. with 70% of the crews being aussies it was a lively affair but there weren't enough kiwis around to make it truly interesting. The final a few day later was a much more interesting affair with the brit and aussie camps at different sides of the bar making up songs about each other along with other good humouredly vindictive heckling.

the next leg we were becalmed for 6 hours, going backwards. i'd heard sailors talking about going backward before but thought they were exagerating or joking. but hughie the wind god disappeared and left us to the mercy of the tide going in the opposite direction. a much shorter leg this time, we didn't get in until midday, 4pm by the time we got to the hotel.
but dinner that night was at the E&O hotel in Penang, a beautiful colonial hotel, the most luxurious and stylish on the island. i pulled out my one dress and joked about providing good ballast the next day as i ate far too much food but it was all just so yummy.

stay tuned . . . more to come

#24 Snorkling and slamming at “the beach"

Okay, i'm legally in the country, just had to run away to get all my immigration papers completed and leave pleading notices for someone to take me on as crew.
now, where was i . . .

okay, after the regatta I scored a ride on Scallywag, a Sydney 32" helping James and Elaine deliver her up here. With time to spare we came up rather leisurely, with brand new snorkling gear I purchased and a full bar.
We left at sunrise on monday morning, headed out with the engine on to charge the batteries and dropped anchor around the corner at Pantai Cenang. Despite agreements with the local malay guys the night before, over a stunning sunset and a few beers to many, to come and give us a lift, we had to swim to shore, which was a great way to build up an appetite for rotis and homemade yoghurt and local coffee for breakfast.

Mid afternoon James introduced Elaine to the classic aussie Tim Tam Slam but added a
slight twist to the whole affair; instead of something mundane like coffee being used he showed her how to bite off the ends of the tim tam and then pulled out the botle of baileys. completely excessive and very moreish ;-)

We met the two other boats we were sailing in convoy with, at Koh Rok Nok after ignoring all warnings not to go in at night as we had no choice due to our long breakfast. We managed to hit a huge chunk of coral and mess up the keel on a three month old boat. Oops. Then the anchor wouldn't hold and after three tries we went off in search of moorings. The next morning we attached all three boats and had them lined up behind us as they came over to the mother ship in search of coffee.

The snorling was fantastic. An island untouched except for cruising yachts and the occassional fisherman, the coral was in excellent condition and we oohed and ahhed through our masks at
the abundance of fish life. Yum.

The second night we headed up to Maya Bay, Phi Phi Le where that nasty Leonardo di Caprio film was made. The inside of the island has strange shrubs growing that don't look like they really belong. It's easy to see where they cleared and sad to see how they haven't fixed it up as promised. The bay is about 270 degrees around though and amazingly beautiful with limestone cliffs rising imposingly out of green water. The place comes into its own when all the tour boats leave, of which there are hundreds bringing in people to snorkel and weave around the
dead coral and profusion of spikey black sea urchins.

as sunset decended though they all left and there was just Scallywag, Luuk Loma and Panic left. Everyone came over to Scally wag and we cooked up a massive feast, gazed at the stars and contemplated what the rich people were doing; working hard to pay for the boats we were sailing!!

Throwing the washing up water overboard in the morning a zillion fish came over to help polish off dinner so the other guys grabbed masks again before we headed off to Phuket to pull the Scallywag out of the water and fix the damage to the beautiful racing keel we had caused. 24 hours later we back out cruising, making the most of our last 24 hours before the serious business of racing began again. We headed down to Racha Yai where the water drops from irridescent turquoise to cobalt and I saw a crayfish and some chunky big jellyfish whilst snorkling, plus a couple of amazing cartoon fish: pink with white lipstick and eyeshadow!

Hope you're all well and happy and having some of the fun I'm having. I think if I don't find a berth I'm going diving. Ahhh lifes tough, for the four hundredth time!

#25 Five months later

Nup - for those of you I haven't been in contact with in months - I didn't sail off the edge of the world, I just came home at xmas.

I was ready to sail from Phuket all the way to the Mediterannean on a beautiful wooden gaff rigg replica with a crazy German crew who were going to make me fluent in 3 months at sea.

As our depature hastened and we waited for the right tide to leave the harbour, things started going wrong. The starter on the engine was a slight problem. Okay, you don't need an engine in the 20-30 knot winds we were expecting but they can be kind of handy for manouvering. Then the skipper got sick which means we missed the neap tide (which only occurs every 14 days
at half moon) and the boat drew too much to leave the harbour otherwise!

Hosing the deck down we noticed that water was pouring underneath. No boat is waterproof but having a waterfall cascading onto your sleeping bag isn't a promising sign, especially when you're headed for colder waters.

Stuck inside a humid, mosquito ridden harbour, nerves were beginning to fray. I by this time had learnt basic german verbs, breakfast nouns and the mandatory swear words, but conversations were happening more and more in German and I was getting cold feet. Craving real conversation as only one of the three crew members spoke fluent English I was spending a fortune on phone cards calling Monika in Poland and starting to wonder about the practicalities of going to sea for three months in a leaky boat with a crew who conversed in a language I only understood about 30 words of!

Everyone else had signed out of the country and the boat wasn't supposed to be there anymore but we couldn't leave until the engine was fixed. Peter (the skipper) and I went down to customs to get my name put on the crew list so I could get my chop and be out of the country.

We got down to immigration to be told we had to go down to the port to get this done. It was turning into one of those hilarious black and white slapstick films that aren't so funny when you're in the middle of them. Of course port customs was closed for lunch when we got there, Peter was still rejecting all forms of food so I wandered off to get some lunch. I came back to find him involved in a blue with the thai customs official who was red in the face with steam coming out of his ears and making threatening noises about Peter being in the country illegally and going to gaol. This isn't a good scene in any country but in asia its extremely bad.

Peter was beginning to get on my nerves by then as well and I wondered what sort of an idiot picks an argument with a thai customs official. He was, by now, too scared to go back to the other immigration office where the red faced official had directed us, and needed to get back to the boat to meet the mechanic - engine still not fixed!!

So I went back, having done nothing wrong and having all my visas in fine working order, and was nice as possible to the other guys who were now suspicious and
were asking if they needed to come and find Peter. Wasn't looking good.

On the way back I stopped by a friendly travel agent and got some quotes on plane tickets to Australia and Europe, having no idea what I should do. Gut instincts working on overtime.

After a crazy plan that the boat would go to Malaysia and pick me up there, and several more international phone cards, I jumped ship and flew home on xmas eve to an ecstatically cheerful mum!


We were only planning to stay for summer and then take off to Europe for spring and summer there but Summer turned into autumn, Monika got a really good job and we've decided to stay in Melbourne for another year.

As winter approaches fast I've just complete four weeks of crazy stress otherwise known as the CELTA (Cambridge Certificate of English Language Teaching to Adults) which is supposed to be the top qualification in its field. The course was really interesting and i enjoyed it heaps, but literally not having a life (or enough sleep) outside study hours began to take its toll and by halfway through the last week we were all craving a decent lye-in!

We had to teach every other day and submit anally detailed lesson plans, which suited all the virgo I discovered in my chart when I got it worked out recently! I was the last person to teach on the last day but I ended up with really good marks so all the hard work paid off in the end.

I'm thinking of heading to Japan for three months at the end of the year but waiting to see what develops work wise here. After 5 months I've only just really started to ground here - once we decided to stay I started looking into study options and was doing a ton
of preparatory work before it all began. So I'm looking forward to re-establishing some community down here.

Right now we're looking for a new house to start up with a crew of excellent women. Living in a house with 6 people is really getting to me. It'll be really nice to set up a new house for the first time in years and design it the way we want it, rather than how it's always been!

This weekend my 30th looms its ugly head, so for those in this part of the world, or willing to venture down, I'm having drinks at the Retreat Hotel in Brunswick @ 7pm on Saturday and taking it from there.

This year will be a magical mystery tour to follow up last year's magical mystery picnic. I have no plans so its a true mystery. I want it to take a random approach and am leaving the evenings festivities to those taking part. That way I don't have to make any decisions, which I'm not good at, at the moment!

Okay, I thought it was necessary to wrap correspondence up until next time. For those in town,
I have a life again and would love to catch up, for those I haven't seen yet, I'm sorry, come to the Retreat, 7pm sat and those in other states or countries drop me a line or a bell or something and I hope you're all well!

And for the slack bastards who haven't called: grrrrr
( you know who you are, or should do!)